Why oh why can't I control this urge, it compels me.
This isn't love it's desire my friend. Desire! Uncontrollable, insatiable, I’m dangerous!
What is this feeling the spiral down
Psychosis brewing, the pressure mounts Feels like it's ending, my world unwinds
Drowning in myself, can't you be kind? Why are you leaving, are you afraid?
Is there no time for the things unsaid? This doesn't hurt you, it's my own grave
I dug it myself, I don't expect to be saved
This isn't who I am, unraveling at the seams
Collapsing sanity, and gone are all my dreams
This isn't what I am, A danger to the world
A danger to myself, The facade of me fades
You were my whole life, you set me alight
Then watched me scream and shout, you watched my fire burn out!
This isn't what I was, this person you perceived
This hazard to your heart, A foil to what you need
This isn't what I am! Can't you see?
Who are you fooling, it isn't me
It wasn't love anymore you see
This fool isn't fooled by your platitudes
My gratitude to you with attitude
Look me in the eye you vicious wight
Leaving me selfishly with my plight
I fight for my sanity every day
But you paid my soldiers to run away
Run you cowards run away
I am not a demon, nor person to be saved
Though I am broken don't dig my grave
I craved your passion for me, it wasn't healthy
I wanted more than you had to give to me
I now know what you can get away with
Watching lucidity fall apart
Storybook endings we always dreamed of ended when stabbing me through the heart
This is who I am, oh can't you feel my rage that consumes all I touch and all I taste it tastes like love.
Love that's burned by hate. My rage it burned it all!
Burn it all to the ground
Stoke the fire to keep me alive
Fan the flames of my disgrace
This isn't fantasy! This world that I created
I am a complete person, I am not just a dream
Happiness at last, personal entropy
I've found the pieces missing, my darkness in the past
We can't be alone in this universe so expansive.
Then why do you say that I fulfill the embodiment of evil
I am not your demon, a hindrance to your heart
I am a person, don't tear me apart
I am full of love to give, stop trying to take that away
This is my life to live, I have plenty to say
Grab on tight, I am out of here, grab a light set the fires
Watch them burn, burn our castles down, I am not afraid any more
Run away from the dying fire, cowards run till the war is won
Sharpened swords and loaded guns, I am not afraid of empty words
Watched my fire dying out, watched my walls coming down
You're not welcome here you put my fire out, fought a war against me
Betrayed all that we built, then you quenched the fire you put in me
Burn, I burn! I burn so bright!
Burn, I burn! So bright, I must be alive!
released December 12, 2018
all rights reserved